【Exploring The Jungle Between My Wife’s Crotch】

When most people see scissors,Exploring The Jungle Between My Wife’s Crotch they think, "Ah, scissors, the things you use to cut."

When musician and former Oasis songwriter Noel Gallagher sees scissors, he thinks, "Ah, scissors, the things you use to make beautiful British rock music."

This way of thinking -- this vision -- would explain the scissor player (lead scissorist) featured in Gallagher's band The High Flying Birds during a recent televised BBC performance.

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In case you're confused, let's clear something up: this is what it sounds like it is.

A person was on stage with a band -- they had their own mic and everything -- and they were opening and closing scissors. This was a part of the song.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

There was no rest for the scissorist, they played throughout the song, cutting with the tempo.

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Via Giphy

There were several angles of the scissorist. It is through these angles that we are able to deduce that the scissors are, in fact, regular scissors.

Another observation: the scissorist used both hands to use the scissors. We imagine this is to offset exhaustion, but perhaps there's something else to it.

Finally, it is important to understand that you absolutely cannot hear the scissors in this song.

Via Giphy

Gallagher's scissor player caught the attention of several people on Twitter and various music blogs. Liam Gallagher, Noel's brother, noticed the performance and mocked it online.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Take a look at the performance and judge for yourself: does the joy of seeing someone using scissors during a musical performance outweigh the general weirdness of it and the fact that you cannot hear the scissors at all? Maybe!

For those in the U.S., the performance can be viewed through Consequence of Sound.

To everyone else: the article is over, please leave. To Noel Gallagher: I have a hole punch, a role of tape, and a mechanical pencil that I would love to get your thoughts on. Reach out.

Topics Music

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