【Twilight the Porno and Other XXX Parodies】

Keanu Reeves is Twilight the Porno and Other XXX Parodiesreally good at stabbing people, at least in this bizarre and hilarious game called Absolutely: A True Crime Story.

In Absolutely: A True Crime Story, Keanu Reeves is accused of stabbing quite a few people and needs to convince the powers that be that he is innocent (or at least that he doesn't deserve a death sentence) by recounting his day.

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What unfolds next depends on you and your actions. Do you give kids drugs? Do you steal a car radio for a little girl? Do you direct a child to pirate episodes of Game of Thrones? Do you stab seven different people?

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Actually, you don't get to decide on the last one; Keanu Reeves stabs seven people whether you want him to or not. There's simply no other way to progress through the game.

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Keanu Reeves stabs seven people whether you want him to or not.

The game is insane, which is immediately apparent from the first two lines you're introduced to: "Welcome player. It's a fucking video game."

After picking a stat (which is useless), you guide Keanu Reeves through the rainy town of NoCrimesVille, helping people with their problems and fighting a handful of people in a turn-based RPG-style combat riddled with typos.

Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

The game was created by Davey Wreden (The Stanley Parable, The Beginner's Guide) and Ryan Roth (The Beginner's Guide), and described by Wreden as "the culmination of decades of growth of video games as a medium."

This is an inarguable fact. Wreden's next sentence, however -- "It is about a real criminal named Keanu Reeves" -- is probably not a fact.

All that said, this game was a great way to spend 10 minutes.

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